There was a pause, and then a sigh which seemed to last for
several minutes, the product of an unusual lung capacity. "Alas! It
is nothing. The tale of Thorian will compare with yours as the mud of
the paddy field below the glory of the lotus. Not only has my brief
existence been totally bereft of incident, but I lack your felicity of
phrase and facility of pharynx. You come from far and exotic lands,
overflowing with wonders. You have viewed the deeds of heroes and the
wrath of gods. Beside your peacock splendor I am the maggot in the
filth of the chicken run."
"That is an inspiring opening!" I declared, impressed. "Pray
proceed."
"So kind! My exact age is uncertain, but my mother has told me
often that I was born a year or two after the Great Eclipse that was in
Thang—sometimes she says one and sometimes the other. I am therefore
twenty-three or twenty-four, as I reckoned last."
He fell silent for a space, and then said, "Better make that
twenty-four or twenty-five."
"Your dedication to absolute accuracy is commendable."
"It is a peccadillo of mine. I was named, of course, for the
Thorian who is worshipped as god of truth down in Pulst—a minor deity,
to be sure, but perhaps worthy of wider observance. On the sixteenth
anniversary of my naming day I swore to be deserving of his patronage,
and with excess of juvenile fervor, covenanted to strike a tooth from
my mouth for every false word that I might thenceforth utter. The
light is poor in here, but if you wish to run a finger—"
I assured him that I had already observed the excellence of his
dentition.
"Very well. I was born in a small town not three days' journey
from here."
I refrained from commenting upon his Polrainian accent, which
was quite marked.
"Sessmarsh is its name. It is an humble place, whose walls are
of turf and sun-dried brick. Its protector, Urckl, is a kindly god,
but so old and enfeebled that he could not put peas straight in a pod,
as they say. In cold fact, Sessmarsh is a vassal state to Mighty
Zanadon, and remits taxes of gold and youth to the city of Maiana and
Balor.
"My father . . . " His voice broke momentarily—an effect I
normally eschew, although he did it well. "This is not easy for me to
tell, Omar."
I urged him not to distress himself, as I had no wish to pry
into matters he would rather leave covered. Naturally he did not take
me at my word.
"But you were so open with your own history that I should be
shamed to withhold one eyelash of mine own. Let me leave my father
until later. Know that my mother was the fourth of seven sisters. My
grandfather, being a man both versed in lore and educated beyond his
wit, determined to name all his children after stars. My mother's name
was Pulcherrima. My aunts were Aldebaran, Sirius, Polaris, Algol,
Betelgeuse, and Alpha Draconis."
"Immaterial detail always adds verisimilitude," I murmured
respectfully.
"I noticed that earlier. Poor Aunt Alfie finished my
grandmother, who died upon her very naming day. My grandfather
followed in due course. Thereafter his seven daughters continued to
dwell in the expansive residence he had built in the center of
Sessmarsh, earning their livelihood by embroidering kerchiefs and
inscribing helpful mottoes on coffee goblets, which they then sold from
a window to passersby.
"Their existence was peaceful and solitary, if seven maidens
may be collectively described as solitary. They employed no servants,
purchased their victuals at the door from street hawkers, and found
their own mutual companionship adequate."
"It is a touching picture," I said, "and fraught with potential
for romantic intrusion. They were all beautiful, of course?"
"Not especially. Polly had buck teeth and Sirius was cursed
with a heavy mustache."
"Oh? If you will pardon a minor comment from an old hand, I
feel you would be wise to play down that point in future tellings. It
does little to enhance suspense."
"I am indebted to you for the advice. My father, now. My
father was a mere vagabond, a rogue and wastrel. He was—and you will
understand my hesitation in mentioning the matter—a vagrant
storyteller."
I beamed in the darkness and said nothing.
"One day this glib ne'er-do-well stopped by the window where
the ladies sold their crafts, and engaged my mother in conversation.
Had any of her sisters then been present, I feel sure that the outcome
would have been different. As it was, being alone, she was overcome by
his blandishments, and invited him to step inside out of the heat and
partake of her homemade marshmallow cookies."
"I have never visited fair Sessmarsh," I said, "although such
has long been one of my ambitions."
"I cannot imagine why. As to the incident I was describing,"
Thorian continued, "I shall not speculate on the details. I do know
that my parents' life together was a very happy one, although it could
not have lasted for upward of twenty-five minutes. Thirty at the
outside."
"It has its romantic aspects."
"Depending on the point of view. My aunts were understanding,
and did not censure my mother unduly. They did not blame me, either,
when I arrived. Indeed, they were all very kind to me, and in my youth
I frequently forgot which of the ladies I should address as 'mother'
and which as 'aunt'."
"It must have been an eerie childhood, though."
"Doubtless it seems so to you, who had the advantage of a more
cosmopolitan upbringing. Never having known any other, I accepted it
as normal. I see now that my diet was overly heavy in starches. At
the time I knew no better. I never went outside or played with other
children, but the house was roomy, and possessed of a large flat roof,
where we slept when the weather was hot. During the day I would sit up
there for hours, watching the sleepy life of the little town going by
in the streets. I was content."
"How long did this last?" I inquired, awed by the tragedy so
casually unfolded.
"I am coming to that. I have mentioned that Sessmarsh pays
tribute to the city of Zanadon, and has done so for centuries. The
rationale is that it thereby gains protection from other enemies,
although one may question what greater hardship such enemies might
inflict. The monetary taxes are not onerous, for Zanadon has small
need of gold, but the young men of the town are required to serve a
portion of their most virile years in the army of the city, and this
impost is greatly resented.
"The citizens of Sessmarsh, therefore, conceal their sons from
the assessors to the greatest extent possible. When small, boys are
commonly dressed as girls, and treated as such. On reaching maturity
they are smuggled away to outlying relatives. It is a lamentable
deception."
"Heart-rending."
"My mother was therefore merely following local tradition when
she dressed me in girls' clothing and taught me to regard myself as
female during my formative years. My aunts concurred, of course.
Together, they brought me up to believe myself a girl, and to behave in
all ways as a member of the gentle sex."
He slurped a mouthful of wine, belched loudly, and continued.
"I was taught needlework and the culinary arts. When a boy
should be learning skill with sword and bow, the use of plow and
mattock, the ways of pony and ox, I was wielding brooms and dusters. I
worked loom and spindle and became proficient upon the dulcimer.
Indeed, I believed implicitly that I was female, just a younger version
of my mother and her sisters."
"But surely when you reached maturity—"
"Not even then, alas," he said sadly. "My mother and aunts had
no rural relatives to whom I could be sent for concealment when the
impressment agents came to town. As I never met strangers, the
deception continued undetected, least of all by me."
"But when your beard began to—"
"Did I not mention that my Aunt Sirius had a growth of facial
hair? I was led to believe that my own was merely a disfigurement of
the same nature, only greater. I bathed and slept alone—how could I
know that there were other anomalies concealed beneath my petticoat?
Even my pectoral development is not insignificant, as you may have
noticed. Convinced that I was cursed with a besetting ugliness, I soon
forbore even to show myself upon the roof. I stayed indoors and spent
my days in delicate embroidery and gourmet cooking, knowing no company
except that of my mother and my aunts."
He sighed deeply. "How long this might have continued, I
hesitate to wonder. I suppose I should be grateful to the Vorkan
horde. The flood of refugees sweeping through the Spice Lands ahead of
those savages caused great alarm within the gates of Unvanquished
Zanadon. The elders decreed an increase in the armed forces. However,
instead of sending out their own recruiters as formerly, they assigned
quotas of strong youths to each of their tributary towns, and by that
trivial change in procedure, they unwittingly disrupted the serene flow
of my existence.
"The puppet rulers of Sessmarsh, being required to provide a
certain number of mobile young males, were thereby inspired to scour
their constituency and root out all the hitherto concealed sons, for it
was only then that they could hope to withhold their own offspring.
Thus it was they lent ear to certain rumors. Thus it was that
municipal officials came to call at our residence."
"It must have been a terrifying awakening for you."
"Oh, I knew nothing of it—I was in the kitchen baking cupcakes
at the time. The men were brusquely dispatched by my Aunt Sirius,
whose staunch demeanor I have described to you.
"Nevertheless," he continued sadly, "it was evident to my
mother and my aunts that the milk was spilled, if you will pardon the
colloquialism. That evening my Aunt Betelgeuse, having drawn short
straw, took me to her room and revealed to me certain anatomical
distinctions that had hitherto been withheld from my attention. I was
shaken then, I admit. I sobbed, for I had been brought up to believe
that such was the correct reaction to distress. I sobbed even harder
when my aunt explained that the bailiffs would certainly return on the
morrow with intent to search the house, and that I must flee, out into
a world where I had never set foot . . ."
I was overcome.
"You mock my shame with laughter, small man?"
"No, no, no!" I cried hastily. "I am chagrined by the pathos
of it. The sounds you hear are suppressed tears."
"I apologize for distressing you. But my tale is done. That
very night I stitched together some masculine garments, packed myself a
small provision of cucumber sandwiches and cupcakes, and departed from
my birthplace for the first time in my life."
So deeply moved by this narrative that I could barely keep a
tremor from my voice, I inquired tentatively, "How long ago did this
occur?"
"Four days since," he said sadly. "The following morning I was
accosted by the villainous Corporal Fotius on a pony. Believing that
he wished to pass the time of day in amicable discourse, I hailed him
cheerily, and was taken completely by surprise when his oaken staff
smote me behind the ear. The next thing I knew, I was chained like a
beast, as you saw."
"Your outrage is understandable. But you have failed to
explain that half-healed scar upon your person. It minds me of the
fearful wounds inflicted sometimes by those overlong Vorkan
blades—perchance upon an audacious warrior who, having been dismounted
and lost his shield, but yet preferring death to surrender, dared to
close with a mounted opponent."
"Oh, that?" Thorian laughed. "You must have regarded it very
superficially, Friend Omar. No, I left my mother's house by sliding
down a drainpipe. I had never practiced such unruly pursuits as a
normal boy would have done. In my inexperience and nervous haste, I
snagged a nail, and I was scratched. That is all."
"And the arrow wound on your calf?"
"I stepped on a sleeping cat. It bit me."
"Incredible!"
"You doubt my word?"
"No, truly." I reached for wine jug, but discovered that only
lees remained. I assured him that I had rarely heard such a tale, and
if he and I left Zanadon alive, then I should be more than happy to
take him on as an apprentice. His native talent warmed my heart.
"It was nothing," he protested. "A trivial anecdote of
domestic tragedy with no redeeming moral. And while I am deeply moved
by your generous offer, and have no wish to slight you or seem
ungrateful, I do feel that my future lies along other avenues, where my
skills may aid me in shaping a career."
"May I inquire?"
"I thought of seeking employment in domestic service. I have a
knack for flower arranging."
"What about Corporal Fotius, then?"
"I mean after I rip out his lights, of course."
